Pollyanna vs the voices

August 29, 2011

The voices have started. They started a couple of weeks ago. As today approached, they became louder and louder. Clamouring in my head. Telling me everything I did not want to hear:

• “You aren’t going to make it.”
• “What are you doing?”
• “Don’t you realize what you are doing?”
• “How can you do this?”
• “You going to regret this!”
• “What are you going to do when you blow this one?”
• “You’re going to lose it all.”
• “What makes you think you can do this?”

In order to stop the voices, I became like Pollyanna, the young optimistic character in Eleanor H. Porter’s book titled Pollyanna. I chose to ignore everything that might go wrong, and instead, focused on everything that could go right.

This level of optimism is nauseating. It involves sticking one’s head in the sand to a certain degree. However, when the voices start up, sometimes it is the only way to go forward. If I didn’t take such a drastic approach, the voices would beat me down. I would not even take the chance of finding out if my idea could have worked.

I was so afraid that my idea was going to go wrong, so afraid that those voices would be right, that I didn’t want to share my idea with anyone. When one of my teens brought the topic up in the presence of family members, I was forced to explain what I was doing. Fortunately for me, this particular family member was receptive to the idea. She got excited, and helped me to see that the idea could be very successful. She even committed herself to helping me.

That gave me courage. And it helped to drown out the voices when they started clamouring again. Although, it didn’t give me enough courage to continue sharing my idea with others. I still stayed silent.

Until today. Today was “the day.” The day of no return. The day of no turning back. The day of “make it or break it.” The day that I took full control of my new business.

Interestingly enough, the voices have stopped. I guess they have given up. It’s no use trying to talk me out of the idea. It’s too late. I was able to go through with the deal before the voices wore me out. Now, they are silent. And I’m left with the reality of what I have done.

Since the voices are no longer clamouring, I can look at the situation through realistic eyes. And I can, once again, see the potential. The excitement builds. I share this new venture with others. My enthusiasm is catchy. They can see the potential as well.

As I realize exactly what I have taken on, I start to get scared. Once again, I have too much on my plate. But I know that this venture is one of the “most important” ones. It is the way to the future for me. I can feel the “rightness” of this decision in the marrow of my bones.

To confirm this feeling, I receive my first order before the end of the day! One day into my business, and I already have a customer. Yes, this decision is definitely the one for me.

To read more about Porter’s book, Pollyanna, click on the following link: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pollyanna

To find out what my new business venture is, click on the following link: http://canadiangoldenflaxseed.com